Truth or Lies

I've been thinking about honesty a lot lately,no particularly profound reason for that I just happened to watch Liar Liar whilst a little drunk and I'm very easily influenced by tv.Anyway I've come to the conclusion that I'm a bit of a hypocrite, if you asked me to my face "Are you an honest person?" I would look you straight in the eye and proudly say "Of course I am,you can trust me" but here, cloaked in a shroud of interweb anonymity, I will confess I'm not an honest man, I'm a liar and you know what my friend so are you!
Now before you get too pissed off and start sending me vicious messages for daring to make such a unjustified attack on your character let me explain.That wasn't an insult,we all lie because we're taught to from an early age, the lies are hidden with names like good manners,social skills or dating but don't be fooled they're lies.Lies are the essential lubricant that stop our social,work and romantic lives grinding to a halt in a squeal of indignant outrage,without them we'd have no friends,jobs or lovers.(although even with lies I have few friends,a crappy job and a sex life that revolves around porn and hand lotion!!).Little lies are a good thing but thats no excuse for big lies,big lies will wreck your life and the lives of others,for example "Of course,I'd love to go and stay at your parents for Xmas" is harmless but "There are WMDs in Iraq." most definitely is not.
So where is the line between a good lie and a bad lie? I don't know,sorry if you were looking for some great revelation here but bear in mind this is just the blog of a 30-something smart-arse its not exactly Descartes.For what my opinion's worth I think you have to consider two things when telling a lie,firstly the intent behind the lie and secondly the effect the lie will have on others.
We lie to make others feel better which is surely a good and christian thing to do,some classic example are :-
1) That diet is really working for you.
2) I'd never have guessed that was a toupee
3) You were too good for him/her anyway
4) No,your butt doesn't look big in that
5) It's not you it's me
6) Nice to see you,I've been meaning to call
7) I really like you as a person
8) I hadn't even noticed that zit until you mentioned it

We also lie to make ourselves seem more like how we'd like to be, rather than how we really know we are,we'll even lie to ourselves and ignore the part of us that's sitting in the corner of our minds shaking its head and scowling :-
1) I don't watch porn it's degrading to women
2) I'm trying to reduce my carbon footprint
3) Looks aren't important to me,it's personality that counts
4) I'm going to do more for charity,you know,get involved
5) If you ever need someone to talk to,I'm here for you
6) I wouldn't want to be rich,money can't buy happiness
7) I'm a very spiritual person

A category of lie that we regularly tell are the ones we tell to get ourselves out of trouble,now these are a little morally ambiguous as by rights we should just 'fess up but hey! whats the harm as long as no-one gets hurt right?........right? :-
1) The cheques in the mail
2) Ooops I slipped,I was aiming for the other hole
3) It was already broken when I got here
4) I never got that memo
5) I was surfing the web and this site just popped up
6) I was giving her the Heimlich Maneuver and my trousers fell down
7) I hadn't forgotten,I was going to surprise you but now you've spoilt it

So in conclusion (because the vodka buzz is wearing off and I'm tired) lies are a bit like salt,used in moderation they add flavour to your life and make it palatable,but if you over-do it,somewhere along the line you will pay the price and end up in a world of trouble.
Good bye then,if you've had the patience to read this far I look for forward to hearing from you because you seem like a warm and special person.................HONEST!