9 levels of submission
Within the S/M subculture, different people use the words "submissive and slave" to mean many different things. When submissives say "i want to be your slave," sometimes they mean only that they want to be tied up and whipped. Futhermore, there are people who want to be full-time personal servants, and who truly want to exist solely for their Dom(me)'s use, pleasure and convenience. There are many shades in between these two extremes. i thought it might be helpful to put this here as a reference point. The following isn't intended as a rigid classification.
1.The outright non-submissive masochist or Kinky Sensualist
Not into servitude, humiliation or giving up control; just pain and/or spiced-up sensuality, on the masochist's own terms and for the masochist's own direct pleasure (i.e. turned on solely/mainly by one's own bodily sensations rather than by being "used" to gratify one's partner's sadism).
2.Pseudo-submissive non-slave
Not into even playing "slave", but into other "submissive" role-playing, e.g. schoolteacher scenes, infantilism, "forced" transvestism. Usually into humiliation, but NOT into servitude, even in play. Dictates the scene to a large degree.
3.Pseudo-submissive play slave
Likes to play at being a slave, likes to feel subservient; may in some cases like to feel one is being "used" to gratify partner's sadism, may even really serve the Dominant in some ways, but only on the "slave's" own terms. Dictates the scene to a large degree; often fetishist (e.g. foot worshippers).
4.True submissive non-slave
Really gives up control (only temporarily and within agreed-upon limits), but gets main satisfaction from aspects of submission other than serving or being used by the Dominant. Usually turned on by suspense, vulnerability, and/or giving up responsibility. Doesn't dictate the scene except in very general terms, but still seek mainly her own direct pleasure (rather than getting one's pleasure mainly from pleasing the Dominant).
5.True submissive play slave
Really gives up control (though only temporarily, during brief "scenes" and within limits) and gets main satisfaction from serving/being used by a Dominant, but only for Fun purposes, usually erotic. May or may not be into pain. If so, is turned on by pain indirectly, i.e. enjoys being object of one's partner's sadism, on which the submissive places very few requirements or restrictions.
6.Uncommitted short-term but more than play semi-slave
Really gives up control (usually within limits); wants to serve and be used by the Dominant, to provide practical/non erotic as well as fun/erotic services, but only when the "slave" is in the mood. May even act as a full-time slave for, say, several days in a row, but is free to quit at any time (or at the end of the agreed upon several days). May or may not have a long-term relationship with one's Mistress, but in any case, the "slave" has the final say when she will serve.
7.Part-Time consensual - but real slave
Has an ongoing commitment to an owner/slave relationship and regards herself as the Dominant's property at all times. Wants to obey and please the Dominant in all aspects of life practical/non erotic and fun/erotic. Devotes most of time to other commitments (e.g. job) but the Dominant has first pick of the slave's free time.
8.Full-Time live in consensual slave
Within no more than a few broad limits/requirements, the slave regards herself as existing solely for the Dominant's pleasure/well being. The slave in turn expects to be regarded as a prized possession. Not much different from the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world the slave's position is more likely to be fully consensual, especially if the slave is a male. Within the S/M world, a full-time slave is aware of the power given to the Dominant, and therefore aware of potential physical and emotional damages, following much clearer and specific agreements than those usually precede a traditional marriage.
9.Consensual Total Slave with NO Limits
An ideal and common fantasy which probably doesn't exist in real life (except in authoritarian religious cults and other situations where the "consent" is induced by brainwashing and/or social or economic pressures, and hence isn't fully consensual). A few S/M purists will insist that you aren't really a slave unless you're willing to do absolutely anything for your Dominant, with no limits at all. i've met a few people who claimed to be no-limit slaves, but in all cases i have reasons to doubt about it.
These are levels that a submissive may or may not attain. The risk in this, may be that a submissive can consider it as something where she must proceed "stage by stage". This is not the case at all. It's not a "stair steps", where she begins at level one, and progressively moves through stages. This simply gives an overall idea of where a submissive may be upon her own path. We tend to like labels, although i don't pay any special attention to them. There are far too many shades of kink to classify! As with anything, take what speaks to you, and discard the rest. You know who and what you are, and the only One who should be concerned about your submission's level, apart yourself, is your Dom(me). From my personal perspective as a slave, none of these is better or more "ideal" than any other, or classifies one as a "real sub". But knowing what your stance is can help in communication of your desires and will ensure more fulfilling and rewarding sessions.
By slave alex - SLRN 203-826-459
1.The outright non-submissive masochist or Kinky Sensualist
Not into servitude, humiliation or giving up control; just pain and/or spiced-up sensuality, on the masochist's own terms and for the masochist's own direct pleasure (i.e. turned on solely/mainly by one's own bodily sensations rather than by being "used" to gratify one's partner's sadism).
2.Pseudo-submissive non-slave
Not into even playing "slave", but into other "submissive" role-playing, e.g. schoolteacher scenes, infantilism, "forced" transvestism. Usually into humiliation, but NOT into servitude, even in play. Dictates the scene to a large degree.
3.Pseudo-submissive play slave
Likes to play at being a slave, likes to feel subservient; may in some cases like to feel one is being "used" to gratify partner's sadism, may even really serve the Dominant in some ways, but only on the "slave's" own terms. Dictates the scene to a large degree; often fetishist (e.g. foot worshippers).
4.True submissive non-slave
Really gives up control (only temporarily and within agreed-upon limits), but gets main satisfaction from aspects of submission other than serving or being used by the Dominant. Usually turned on by suspense, vulnerability, and/or giving up responsibility. Doesn't dictate the scene except in very general terms, but still seek mainly her own direct pleasure (rather than getting one's pleasure mainly from pleasing the Dominant).
5.True submissive play slave
Really gives up control (though only temporarily, during brief "scenes" and within limits) and gets main satisfaction from serving/being used by a Dominant, but only for Fun purposes, usually erotic. May or may not be into pain. If so, is turned on by pain indirectly, i.e. enjoys being object of one's partner's sadism, on which the submissive places very few requirements or restrictions.
6.Uncommitted short-term but more than play semi-slave
Really gives up control (usually within limits); wants to serve and be used by the Dominant, to provide practical/non erotic as well as fun/erotic services, but only when the "slave" is in the mood. May even act as a full-time slave for, say, several days in a row, but is free to quit at any time (or at the end of the agreed upon several days). May or may not have a long-term relationship with one's Mistress, but in any case, the "slave" has the final say when she will serve.
7.Part-Time consensual - but real slave
Has an ongoing commitment to an owner/slave relationship and regards herself as the Dominant's property at all times. Wants to obey and please the Dominant in all aspects of life practical/non erotic and fun/erotic. Devotes most of time to other commitments (e.g. job) but the Dominant has first pick of the slave's free time.
8.Full-Time live in consensual slave
Within no more than a few broad limits/requirements, the slave regards herself as existing solely for the Dominant's pleasure/well being. The slave in turn expects to be regarded as a prized possession. Not much different from the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world the slave's position is more likely to be fully consensual, especially if the slave is a male. Within the S/M world, a full-time slave is aware of the power given to the Dominant, and therefore aware of potential physical and emotional damages, following much clearer and specific agreements than those usually precede a traditional marriage.
9.Consensual Total Slave with NO Limits
An ideal and common fantasy which probably doesn't exist in real life (except in authoritarian religious cults and other situations where the "consent" is induced by brainwashing and/or social or economic pressures, and hence isn't fully consensual). A few S/M purists will insist that you aren't really a slave unless you're willing to do absolutely anything for your Dominant, with no limits at all. i've met a few people who claimed to be no-limit slaves, but in all cases i have reasons to doubt about it.
These are levels that a submissive may or may not attain. The risk in this, may be that a submissive can consider it as something where she must proceed "stage by stage". This is not the case at all. It's not a "stair steps", where she begins at level one, and progressively moves through stages. This simply gives an overall idea of where a submissive may be upon her own path. We tend to like labels, although i don't pay any special attention to them. There are far too many shades of kink to classify! As with anything, take what speaks to you, and discard the rest. You know who and what you are, and the only One who should be concerned about your submission's level, apart yourself, is your Dom(me). From my personal perspective as a slave, none of these is better or more "ideal" than any other, or classifies one as a "real sub". But knowing what your stance is can help in communication of your desires and will ensure more fulfilling and rewarding sessions.
By slave alex - SLRN 203-826-459
10 years ago
slave alex